Oh boi Blogger-verse, this past weekend has been one hell of a trip!
So first off, I spent the weekend at my Mother's house to help try out different icing and cake recipes for my younger sister's upcoming engagement party. That went all great and hunky dory. But O.M.G. the Hockey Charity game that I mentioned last time, was a complete and utter bust! D:
Don't get me wrong, I really enjoyed myself. The game was pretty good, I especially loved when the little kids came out and played against the old timer's. They are just so adorable! They even received a replica Stanley cup trophy. And all the money/proceeds went to the Montreal Children's Hospital Foundation, so that was incredibly fantastic. But Holy guac! I wish that I would have reconsidered who I brought with me to the game! I mean I adore my sister and her fiance (he actually got to go into the locker room and meet the players because he won a raffle, and got a ton of signatures too, He was so incredibly ecstatic about it! Like a kid in a candy store lol) But yeah, so my friend that I brought with my extra ticket, spent the ENTIRE 2 hours complaining and when he wasn't complaining he was watching the Habs game on his phone or texting some other girl about how utterly bored he was. I mean for Frig sake, you'd figure that if you go out somewhere with someone that you'd at least pay attention regardless of whether or not you're actually enjoying yourself. O.M.G. I was sooooooo mad!!!!!!! and still am apparently lol
So that is my "Completely Pissed" phase of my weekend, but at least a moment of clarity came out of it all. I've realized that even though he is my friend, and he was incredibly supportive and there for me when my great grandmother died at the beginning of the month, he was just toying with my emotions. Treating me like a yo-yo and something that didn't matter. Well I'm frigging tired of it! I'm not a toy that can be played around with! You can't just toss me aside one minute and then turn around like nothing ever happened! I am a human being with emotions and feelings, even though I'm tough as nails and a freaking hellcat when I need to be, I still cry and bleed and all that jazz. And realizing that this guy was not who I thought he was, well that hurt more than words can ever express, try as I might lol. I have painfully decided that I do not need him in my life anymore than just as a friend. If he ever wants to apologize for being a complete and utter ass I might just listen to him, but until that happens I'm sticking to my guns and cutting the ties.
Now onto my "Confusing Bliss" phase of the weekend.
So I've been texting a friend back and forth non-stop (well relatively non-stop) since Thursday afternoon. He is actually my future brother-in-law's best friend. And we've been talking about everything! and I truly mean everything. At first it started just about music and how much we totally don't understand why my sister and her fiance are getting married so fast. But I mean that was only Thursday. By Friday, we were talking about everything under the sun! Holy Cow! During the day Saturday, he had to go into work to do some overtime, so we were texting back and forth and we were talking about what we each had planned to do with the rest of our weekend etc. So I explained to him about the Hockey game which lead to a discussion about who I was going with and how much I was like tots in like with him. He wished me luck, despite the fact that he thinks the guy is totally not worth it, but I mean he was just being a supportive and good friend. So when I woke up on Sunday I had a text, asking about how the night before went, and I explained about how upset I was and all that jazz. And he was really sweet and supportive and saying all the right words. It was tres cute! He messaged me that the guy is an idiot and that I'm an awesome person and deserve so much better than a complete jerk. He also said that I should just forget him. Which I totally am going to do, or have done. Geez I think this is the first time I've thought about him since Sunday. Yay me!
Now the real problem is this other guy. Mostly because he also said something that amounted to the fact that if he wasn't in the situation he is in, that something could happen. Nothing specific and I don't want to break up or cause any problems for him and his gf especially since they are already having a hard time. Even more so because he is kinda acting like a surrogate father to her 4 year old son. I really don't want to cause anything bad to happen because I know what it is like to be in the kid's shoes and I'd hate to cause that kind of turmoil for someone so young. So right now it is merely friendship, regardless of what everyone else thinks. (including my bitch of a sister)
So that was Sunday. I ended up staying at my mom's again because I was working on a paper and really didn't have the energy or time to pack up all my stuff and come back home, so Mom and I decided that I'd just spend the night again, go to school in the morning and then just get my stuff after my class was done. Oh boy did that plan turn out bad! Well before I left for my class on Monday, all hell broke loss between my mom and her live-in/sleep-in ex. (don't worry, I don't understand it either) Anyway she found out that he's been having his cake and eating it too, if you catch my drift. Anyway so Mom went psycho witch crazy and started throwing the biggest tantrum I've ever seen a 45 year old woman EVER pull! It was crazy!!! Her best friend and I calmed her down enough so that I could go to school and when I called her cell about 2 hours later, I didn't get an answer. So I called the house phone, and eventually got my brother on the line. He sounded like he was scared out of his mind, and my brother only gets scared by one thing and that's his parents fighting. So I start to panic and trying to figure out ways to get to my brother faster, and I couldn't think! I totally believed that something bad was going to happen before I got there. So guess what? I'd been texting my friend, of course, and I started to tell him that I was worried about my brother, I didn't know what was happening and all that jazz. I didn't want him to go with me, but just to listen and help calm me down before I walked into the house and ended up killing someone. I was so terrified that my mom or brother was going to get hurt with me unable to protect them. Well. did I ever get him to start panicking for me. Holy geez, I have never met anyone in my life that cares so much about his friends. He was willing to drop everything to go with me to my mom's. I managed to get him to stay put though, but his concern was really really sweet! I explained how I was my sibling's first and last line of defense. how it's always been me against the world protecting them and making sure nothing bad ever came their way. Okay, even I know I'm not perfect, but I'm tough as nails and can take all the shit that is thrown at me and still fight back. I protect them and that's the way it is. He was worried about me. Can you believe that? He was actually concerned about ME! He understands that I'm a strong person but doesn't agree with the fact that I have to stand against the world alone. He constantly reassured me that I wasn't alone and that he would rush over if I needed him, and he even said it again this morning too. I explained that I'm tougher than I look, can hold my own, and that I don't need anyone to save or protect me. To which he replied that, while he completely understands that, he just wants to make sure that I don't have to do it alone. That I have friends like him to help when I need it. :)
UGH! Why am I only meeting him now?!?!?! Like come on! why couldn't we have met a long time before now???? uggg!!!!!! This is what is so confusing! because I actually think that I'm falling for his charm, when I have no right to do so. UGH!!!!!! and GRRRR!!!!
Today he mentioned how he was tired and was craving some chicken wings and a nap. Well, having only received 4 hours of sleep the night before told him that it wasn't fair that he could go for chicken wings and a nap when I wanted the same thing. Well apparently, he has never met a girl who eats chicken wings before. o.O What kind of people does he hang around with? I mean honestly!?!?! he said that the girls he knows think that they're too messy. my reply was, of course, "That's why god invented napkins!" and his answer. well it still baffles me, if I'm being honest. Because what does he go and say? "lol I think I love you don't tell no one"
?????????
What the Truck am I supposed to make of that???? The only thing I could think of to say was, "lol Sure you do. but alright, I won't tell no one"
??????
First of all, What is with my grammar??!!? Thank god it was just a text because "I won't tell no one" isn't even proper English. It's just terrible and I am incredibly embarrassed to actually admit that I wrote that. :s
But yeah, What was that all about? I am like utterly confused but incredibly happy at the same time. Is that wrong? I feel like it should be wrong. We text like all day, from when we wake up to when we go to bed. the last few days he's been concerned about my essay writing and problem with procrastination, as well as being completely ready and willing to "running to the rescue" if the kids or I needed anything. I even had a dream last time, when I actually slept, it was in the future a bit and apparently I had gotten beaten to a pulp by a boyfriend or something. I was living somewhere else. And who do I call? Not my parents or the police. I call him and he drops everything to save me.
Mom thinks that I'm just rebounding my affections for this last guy off onto him. especially since he's unavailable so at least I won't get hurt that way. But I mean it's not like I want anything to happen between the two of us. Right now he's being a really good friend and being really sweet. And yet it's all making me really confused too. :(
Oh well. So yeah, that was the last few days in one very large nutshell lol
I'm off to finally start my archaeology final paper that's due on Thursday. Procrastination ftw lol
Oh and if you can help with anything that I've talked about, besides my paper lol, I would really appreciate some other opinions.!
Night All!
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